Back to school transitions can feel really exciting, hard, and anxiety-producing all at the same time.
If you’re experiencing any of the big feelings that come up with back to school transitions—you are not alone!
Not only am I right there with you, but I’m coaching hundreds of moms navigating this back to school transition, too.
Here’s what can really help with back to school transitions:
Going back to school in the fall is a shift from the summer flower into a more structured routine, combined with so much that is new. Whether it’s a new school, a new grade, a new class, a new set of friends, new curriculum, new schedules, or something else—there’s just so much you’re navigating that’s different than before.
And guess what? The brain doesn’t like “different.” Even though it’s exciting and you want to be going back to school, the brain is wired to do more of what it’s done in the past because that’s what feels safest to your brain for survival. Your brain is wired for survival not for doing new and different things.
Because of this, it’s so important to normalize challenges that come up with back to school. Nothing has gone wrong if it feels hard or if your kid is struggling or if they’re not excited or if it’s something else that feels new and hard. That’s just part of it.
One of my favorite mantras for back to school to normalize it is, “expect resistance in the transition.” This way you’re not wondering why it feels so hard. You know it feels hard because of how the brain doesn’t like doing new and different things. And that you’ll settle into a new routine once it becomes familiar.
All that is to say, it’s okay and normal to feel like the transition back to school is a mix of positive and negative emotions with all the newness that encompasses this shift.
Parenting Resources:
How To Be A More Patient Mom: Overcoming Guilt And Frustration (blog post)
200 Affirmations For Kids (download)
How To Validate Your Kids Feelings (podcast)
40 Of The Best Parenting Tips (blog post)
Whining And Complaining In Kids (podcast)
Lighten Up Motherhood (free course)
15 Phrases To Use When Your Child Doesn’t Listen (blog post)
When You Don’t Like Playing With Your Kids (podcast)
Tantrum Guide: How To Stay Calm And Help Your Kids (download)
How To Teach A Growth Mindset To Kids (blog post)
My Top 7 Parenting Tools (podcast)
Tantrums And Intense Meltdowns: My Tips And Experience (podcast)
Life Lessons Every Mom Should Teach Her Kids (blog post)
Tantrums And Intense Meltdowns: My Tips And Experience (podcast)
I don’t punish my kids. Here’s why. (podcast)
Alternatives To Punishment (And Why I Don’t Punish My Three Boys) (blog post)
7 Parenting Tools For Type-A Moms (blog post)
15 Activities To Increase Connection With Your Kids (blog post)
There are things you can do to help ease the transition of back to school so you do you best to help your child succeed emotionally and academically. Here’s a list of 25 tips to transition back to school:
1. Expect resistance during transitions—it doesn’t mean something is wrong.
2. Tell your child: “It’s okay for this to feel hard—we’re learning something new.”
3. Validate emotions without trying to fix or eliminate them.
4. Create a predictable goodbye routine (hug, phrase, wave).
5. Preview the school environment in advance—walk through, show photos, or practice the drop-off.
6. Stick to a consistent morning routine to reduce anxiety before school.
7. Use calm, confident body language—your child borrows your nervous system.
8. Avoid long, drawn-out goodbyes—keep them short and steady.
9. Use the phrase: “You feel ___, and we’re still going to ___.”
10. Make a visual schedule for mornings and after school to increase predictability.
11. Focus on connection after school—10 minutes of undivided attention goes a long way.
12. Don’t judge your parenting based on your child’s drop-off behavior.
13. Separate your child’s behavior from your identity as a mom.
14. Create simple routines for after school, dinner, and bedtime to help regulate emotions.
15. Limit screen time in the hour before bed to support better sleep and emotional resilience.
16. Practice emotion coaching: “You’re feeling ___. That makes sense.”
17. Establish a Sunday planning rhythm to prepare for the week ahead.
18. Use affirmations with your child like: “You can do hard things. I believe in you.”
19. Reinforce that all feelings are welcome—but not all behaviors are.
20. Notice when your own anxiety is being projected and pause before reacting.
21. Start school days with a calm tone—wake up 10 minutes earlier if needed.
22. Let your child bring a transitional object (e.g., bracelet, note, photo) if helpful.
23. Use “preview and review” conversations at home to help your child feel emotionally prepared.
24. Treat your role as the emotional leader of the family—calm is contagious.
25. Remind yourself: you don’t need to do this perfectly—you just need to lead with love.
